A rose, by any other name… is confusing

One of the charms of living in Kenya is learning new meanings for words.

Flash you – verb. Means to call, let it ring once, and hang up. This is a request to call back. As in: “I’ll flash you when I need more information.”

Tick off-- verb. To check mark. As in “Please tick off those who are in attendance on the roll.”

Pick – verb. To pick up. As in: “I’ll come by and pick you about 3pm.”

Sensitize—verb. To make aware, to publicize. As in: “We need to sensitize people that the Lion’s Club offers eye service.”

Stage -- noun. A matatu stop. A place where people go to get transportation. Also a frame of reference. As in: I live close to the Kondeli stage. Or I will meet you at the Awasi stage. Every now and then, there is actually a sign that says “stage” or “Awasi Stage.” Many times they are wide spots in the road. Most often, it seems to be an invisible spot people know about and they just gather there and the matatus stop and pick them.

Surprisingly clear terminology. Sometimes there is an openness to information that is a bit startling. Apparently circumcision can reduce the chance of getting HIV/AIDS up to 60%. I read that while standing around a hospital clinic. However, I recently passed a man wearing a t-shirt that boldly proclaimed: “Get Circumcised Today!”

Shortly thereafter I had a conversation with a young man we have been fellowshipping. He calls with excitement as he progresses through the missionary lessons. He called, so pleased that he had passed his baptismal interview.

“I’ll be baptized a week from Saturday (in about 8 days),” he told me.

“Oh?” I asked. “Why not tomorrow?” Tomorrow was Saturday and the normal baptismal day. Typically, after the baptismal interview, one is baptized sooner rather than later.

He freely explained: “I’ve just been circumcised and I’m healing.”

Oh. Ah, well, yes. Indeed. Ah, I think maybe I need to be a bit more careful about delving into details. It was a little more information than I expected.

I recalled the Biblical passage: “And on the third day, when they were yet sore…”

And speaking of nether regions... I have learned the importance of design in the most basic of household "appliances"-- the toilet. When I traveled in Europe, I marveled at the variety of flushing mechanisms. Foot pedals, levers in the front, side, back, plungers to push, shove, or pull.

Here things are simpler. A hole in the ground-- maybe surrounded by wood, cement, or the mud and dung floor. You don't have to worry about flushing those. Moving up in the world are the ceramic holes with a tank high on the wall so the whooshing water can flush both waste, and occasionally, feet.

The upper echelon actually has seated toilets. And you'd think a toilet is a toilet. Let me tell you, that is not true. Never mind the handles that have to be cajoled into flushing, or the lack of suitable tank that requires you to dip a bucket into water to assist the exodus. No. My lament is with the design. You see. The problem is back-splash. Deposits into the toilet, give as good as they get... well, maybe better, it's perhaps cleaner... so that when you are through using the facility you need to use the first set of toilet paper to wipe almost all southernly exposed parts to get water splashes off first.

I suppose I should be grateful to have a sit-down toilet. And I know it's just being overly fastidious to be so concerned. I'm sure I will eventually become accustomed... no, on second thought, I doubt I will ever become accustomed to this lament. If I knew the toilet designer, he'd certainly get a piece of my... er... mind.

And now that I've gotten this complaint off my mind and on to yours, I will elevate my thoughts to things of greater purity. I suggest you do the same.